When did I become so domesticated and how did this happen!!??
I just don't understand when did I swap "fourteen piercings in your scrotum, oh how impressive!!" for "what a lovely house you have and the decor is just to die for!!"
When did I become a suburbia believer!!
Lets get one thing clear I am not disappointed with my life as such, I have worked hard and achieved, its just not the sort of life I imagined I would take on. I have been discribed as a bottle of red wine, which apparently means I am getting better with age!! I just sort of thought said individual thought I was becoming bitter and twisted and would end up tasting of vinegar, very expensive vinegar, but still vinegar! My problem is this, I thought instead of working all hours god sends to be a geektastic nerdy nerd, I would in fact be a gin soaked pill popping rock goddess (okay groupie!!) in the Janis Joplin vein!! I thought my tomb stone would read "Looks great in pink PVC hotpants and can suck a golf ball through a hose pipe" not "Really well read and good at stats". I just never thought my life would be so tame and now as I limp towards thirty in my incredibly clean house, with the bills paid early and all my work in order I wonder where and how I misplaced the wild! More importantly how do I get it back?, the joyful heady (okay stupid) days of my youth!! Where did I go?
So, after that small but impressive rant I find myself on a quest to inject some heavy into my life!! I believe this now may become a new year's resolution to do something utterely stupid and maybe illegal in certain states of America at least once a week. Sad thing is I have this horrible feeling that I now think reorganising the kitchen cupboards is the height of debauchery. I am a desperate case and if anyone wants to join me in my quest for a more fulfilling life and have something to chuckle about in the old people's home don't hesitate to send me suggestions.
Changing the subject, I do believe I only open my mouth to change feet!! Why in the name of all that is holy did I feel it was a good idea to tell two lesbians that of course KD Lang is a lesbian, she is unfortunate looking! Memo to self shut gob!!!
Hold on memo to self, be wild who gives a shit!! KD Lang is unfortunate looking!! I was not lying and she does look like a lesbian! That is why there are stereotypes!
Until the next time, I am off to play knock down ginger, whilst wearing nothing but those pink PVC hotpants and taunting lesbians with pictures of KD Lang!
